39 weeks

Some shots my photographer friend Laura took - I'm glad she talked me into it! x

34 Weeks

Feeling ready. In the next weeks we will find out if there will be an early induction. Since the baby is on the 96 percentile in terms of her growth, I don't have a problem with coaxing her out early. She seems quite eager to emerge, I think the frantic kicking is her trying to find the exit. If she is like me, she will box her way out impatiently. If she is like her dad, she will hang on in there and just chill, induction hormones or not. 

I have been reading parenting books and been thinking about what our baby needs and what it doesn't need. I have been discussing some things with other mothers and looking for parenting inspiration everywhere. I have found it disappointing that people who are already parents will delight in telling you that all your parenting ideals are snotty, unachievable and pretentious. I don't want to discuss my ideals and goals with anyone who is just waiting for me to fail so I can join them on the parental bottom of the pit with a glass of bourbon. So I have stuck to friends who will be celebrating our smaller and bigger successes and be kind about our failures without that "in your face" sentiment. I have really made a point to avoid people who give me that "just you wait" attitude, rather than support me in my decisions. 

Pregnancy and having children is a minefield of opinion - I don't think I've ever even discussed any topic that people are so passionately opinionated about. That may be a good thing but it also means you have to stick to your guns and ideas even though you don't know what you're doing - yet and feel overwhelmed by so much advice and warnings and raised eyebrows. A friend of mine emailed me the the other day and said "all they need is food and nappies and lots of love in the beginning" and I felt tempted to reply "yes but do they also need a Sophie Le Giraffe teething toy?". That's when I realised I really have to stop worrying and start trusting my instincts. My instincts tell me that the baby needs me to chill the heck out. So I am. And also eat biscuits. Which I am also doing. 

30 Weeks

It's all getting a bit too real... childbirth ed classes, getting things a ready as you can, chatting to other mums, ignoring most of the advice, learning to breathe with lungs at half their usual capacity... sleeping on a wedge pillow, eating magnesium supplements, feeling very tired and full of anticipation. Cramming as much time in together as we can, just the two of us, as it's been now for over 10 years. There's room for one more.

This week we put my iPhone on my belly while it was playing music and watched it being kicked from below.

I am a bit, no a lot, worried about going through the next months away from home. I'm sad to not be able to share them with close friends and family. It can feel completely overwhelming. But I'm just happy at the moment to be enjoying these last very precious weeks with my husband as we watch my belly grow.

Skip to the End

Ihave reached that point in my pregnancy where I am permanently a bit uncomfortable and very fatigued. I am not really happy about that. I asked my doctor to take more blood samples to check why I'm so tired. I am a doctor's daughter - I always think there must be some pill to fix me! She looked at me and said "um, it's because you are PREGNANT". It took another doctor and a midwife to give me the same answer until I caved in. Fair enough. I get it. I guess fighting it won't do much good at this point.

I really dislike being so lethargic. Pregnancy is not the same for everyone. My sister worked as a full time doctor right up to 6 weeks before birth. Somehow I had the idea that I would be similarly energetic! But not so. I have more of a struggle with hormones anyway, so it's no surprise that I am feeling sluggish, and particularly afternoons are hard, because I feel very tired and super hormonal and usually weep for no reason. Ok, sometimes I say things like "but ALL I WANTED was a POTATO" and cry dramatically. It's nice, being reduced to a stereotype by hormonal substances going bananas!

The baby is happy as Larry and loves water noises, particularly when I turn the tap on. There are some crazy times in utero - sometimes I think the baby might be rehearsing for So You Think You Can Dance, but she's probably just looking for the umbilical cord or getting mad that she has misplaced her thumb. She also nudges me and kicks me at night when I lie on the wrong side - I cave in and roll over. I am really very, very grateful that she is so healthy. I already have such a strong bond with her, and just the thought anything could happen to her reduces me to a complete mess.

Meanwhile, my feet are so huge that I can barely walk in my normal shoes, and I saw these boots on the internet and decided I really need to have them. Sadly we are very broke and I was looking for a way I could justify buying them (there isn't one). I came up with: "they will be handy when I have the baby and have to breastfeed". This doesn't even make sense to me. But yes - owning these boots will make be a better breastfeeder and mother I'm sure of that.

Behold! The Magic Breastfeeding Boot

Linea Nigra

There are many fascinating things about pregnancy (unexplained foot growth, watching your fingers swell, crazy hair and piles for example) but I find the linea nigra truly amazing. Nobody knows why it's there....
it only occurs in about a third of pregnant women and it's a dark or black line that runs from your upper abdomen all the way along the rounded belly. Sort of like a symmetrical divider. The story goes that touching the linea nigra brings good luck... you can rub my belly with my permission!

29 weeks

We moved house. We are so looking forward to making the nursery cute and making a home for you!
It's cold and most of the time I am struggling to fit into any kind of winter clothes. Sleeping is becoming pretty impossible. There are distinct "warning" kicks if I lie on the wrong side. Until I move I am being poked, kicked and prodded!  I am already planning your first trip home to meet all your aunties, cousins, and step-aunties and step-uncles.

Sleepy 26 weeks

At 26 weeks we had Gastro and your great-grandma died at an impressive 95 years old. At 26 weeks you did not like it much when I sneezed (at least sneezing elicits a pretty strong kicking response). You also kicked your lovely papa in the face, which I secretly found incredibly amusing. Your papa continues to tell you you are either a timelord, or an explorer.

My Pre-Conception Body

Well here is the image Babble has on their website anyway. Other than the disconcerting lack of arms, there are other things wrong with this image. But I don't want to go into that. I am not one to discuss how anyone could believe this represents a normal woman, why it is on a pregnancy website, or generally the use of "this is how you should look" photos on such websites, and how dangerous I find it.

Nono. Instead here's a picture I will send to the babble editors in a moment. They might want to replace the one they have.


My Pre-Conception Body

Holiday with Extra Baggage

I was laughing all the way to New Zealand and back. Except when I had to walk miles down to a cove, the bottom of the path had been torn off my a tornado, and I had to lower myself down some muddy cliffs hanging on to a piece of rope.   

Important fact: When taking boat trips, and you usually don't get seasick, you are likely to get seasick when pregnant. When approaching this "world famous hole in the rock" on the boat, I had just eaten a Kit Kat and also had a ginger beer.

By the time the (insane) person steering the boat approached the world famous hole in the rock and drove us right through it, the Kit Kat and ginger beer re-emerged unpleasantly.

But dolphins! 

It is not really advisable to fly when pregnant when flying is something you hate doing when not pregnant.

On the way back, I started feeling very nauseous and woozy, and the nice flight attendant put me on some oxygen and told me that "every pregnant woman gets like this" and that "I probably shouldn't travel". I replied: "Actually it was the smell of your plane food that made me feel sick". 

True story. It was the lamb my husband was eating merrily that to me smelled like microwaved feet. It tipped me over the edge. 

Ah it's so nice to be home.

Belly

it likes to eat smarties, pickles, coffee, cheese sticks, hot potato chips, apple juice, apples, sparkling water, plum jam. 

nomnom

via Slow Noodle

How gorgeous are these baby blankets!!! Available as kits at Purl Soho. I want them all. 

I wanted to post about these yesterday, but I forgot. It's a recurring theme, forgetting things.

Just in case you thought I was slacking off, I have nearly finished my bobble cowl. Just ran out of Debbie Bliss so need to run to the shop today. Which I will probably also forget to do. 

Things are looking up - I am no longer nauseous 24/7, but the medications I'm on have messed with my system so I'm seeing a lot more of my doctor than I'd like! I am suffering from bad pregnancy brain - yesterday I went to see Michelle and managed to forget her address in the 7 minutes it took to drive to her house. Then I stopped to get some flowers, and forgot my pin number. I did not realise that I would lose control of my cognitive skills! 

Michelle donated an entire bag of maternity clothes to me. That's just about the nicest thing I've ever heard of! We had a lovely chat and some tea in her backyard and I marvelled at the results of her digital printing work. I seriously just love bloggy world. Now that I know a little bit about Michelle's style I will set to craft her a present - I should probably write that down so I don't forget. I know I have somewhere to go today but I can't remember where. 

It's been quite quiet around these parts because I have been poorly for the last three months.
Baby number 1 is on the way! Needless to say we are super thrilled.

The last months have been quite hellish - I've had to battle hyperemesis which is basically when you are sick as a dog all day long. It's been a real struggle. It's hard to convey just how debilitating full-on all day long nausea can be. I have barely left the house. It's been very boring.

I am taking my hat off to all my fellow ladies who've been through this successfully! Congrats for making it!

I have had lovely help from lovely people. So I am not going to complain too much. I am looking forward to being all glowy and radiant and showing my bump off to the world. Until then sadly me and my bump have to stay indoors and retch a bit more!